The Predictability of Suffering

One of the most beautiful things about life is its unpredictability. It also happens to be one of the most difficult things to digest. While getting whatever you want or desire is not 100% guaranteed, it is after all possible. You may be able to defy the odds and emerge victorious from what was crushing you earlier.

However, this also implies the existence of the possibility of losing what you’ve worked for or are working towards, regardless if you acquired it with difficulty or ease.

You see, life can be a double-edged sword where everything and anything can happen. Positive events and negative events play hand-in-hand and exist together. The affect us on the same frequency. Ultimate happiness does not and cannot exist and at the same time, we do not live in a terrible, viscious world. Depending on one’s circumstances of course this idea may change. But the world is truly balanced even though the lenses we through are blurry and sometimes, biased.

What may make things a lot more complicated are the actions of the people around us. We can easily see how it could impact us. There is no issue that has not been triggered by the actions of a person. Whether they are close friends or acquaintances, old, current or new relationships, familiars or strangers, whoever it is can make an impact in our lives. The impact increases in importance if a few things are in synchronization, like:

– what they say or do

– the issue you are experiencing

– if you are looking for an “answer” to solve your issue

– your mood, personality and state of mental/physical health

Your life in the end gets affected directly or indirectly, whether you like it or not. You cannot control how an external source can affect you.

We may think others have it all figured out in their lives and we are suffering the most. We always say everyone has their own problems just as we do, but we say this mostly because we are programmed to and because we WANT to believe it. Not because we do believe it and should accept it. We believe we suffer more but this is because we are only experts in our own lives and not in the lives of others. We only know a fraction of how we truly feel and experience emotion, not how others do. We may assume but again, we are applying our knowledge of ourselves to the person’s situation. We forget that people choose to show the best aspects of their lives, not the “worst”. You’d hardly find someone who would open up about any difficulty they are experiencing to a public crowd. And if they do, we don’t know what their true intentions may be. If they are doing so for awareness, honesty, attention or pity, we can’t ever know.

As humans we always want the best. An upgrade from what we have. We want and wish to upgrade our lives as we do our phones and cars and other materialistic items. And it’s okay to do so, to improve your life and have a goal. But in the end, you should do it because you want to and not because you think you will achieve happiness that way. Because if that is the case, you’d be trying to fill a bottomless hole within yourself and you’ll always be felt disappointed and dissatisfied with the outcome.

Trying to avoid negative feelings such as sadness, anger, disappointment or suffering in general comes with a consequence of always feeling these exact feelings at the end of anything. Without accepting suffering in your life, you may never be capable of experiencing and enjoying your little dosage of happiness. Happiness isn’t linear or constant, it fluctuates. Just as suffering does. Accepting the possibility of both makes you appreciate the unpredictability of life. Because even though there is a possibility of being crushed by any problem, you can always be hopeful that something better is on its way to you, no matter how bad things may look.

Soraya Raeisi

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